I believe I've found my place

It's interesting how life changes so much and how you never imagined it would turn out the way it does. My whole life I have been defined by something. At first it was dancing. That defined me. It gave me meaning and something to focus on. It made me okay with who I was even when times were hard, when friendships were hard. After that was over, I became a beautician. It wasn't the same, obviously. But it gave me the opportunity to spend time with people and help them feel good about themselves. It also gave me something else to focus on. Since becoming a mother, almost 3 years ago, I never quite felt defined. I didn't know what kind of mom I was going to be. Hopefully a good one, which I strive every day to be. But I didn't know where my place in this world was other then being someone's mom. And don't get me wrong, I love it! But I didn't feel like I fit anywhere and I didn't know who Mary the mother was. Lately I have been finding true joy in motherhood. I've realized that having 2 young children is very stressful for me. Some people can handle it, I am not one of them. But as my children get older I'm finding that I LOVE being a mom.

We have lived here in Layton for 1 year now. I can't believe that because it seems like we just moved in. When we moved in Logan and I talked about how this was a fresh start. You don't get very many of those in life so we wanted to take advantage of that. We decided we could be whomever we want to be. I decided I wanted to be a person of service. I have tried to give of my time and talents to help others. I know I can always try harder, but in the process I made a lot of friends, and actually feel like I found my place here. Among our friends I am the "host". I'm the one that usually plans the get-to-gethers and I love having all the neighborhood kids over to our house to play. I never knew that I would be "that" mom. The one that loves to entertain even if it means you don't get the laundry done or you have to make dinner with kids running in and out the back door. I love it though! I love that Ayden has so many good friends. I love that I have good friends too! And I love having something that defines me a little bit. It's a great feeling to find a place in life where you feel like to totally fit. I love it here!

Ayden and his friends watching a movie